And welcome back to Street Tweets from The Street Sheet!

But before we get started, help me understand one thing: a company can IPO in 2025 and not pop double-digit percentages on its day of trading?

Apparently, yes, as StubHub $STUB ( ▼ 9.95% ) messed around and found out. The ticket exchange’s public debut, teased for years now, landed this week with an utter thud. The stock closed its first few days of trading down roughly 24%.

Why? Well, maybe it was years too late. StubHub’s S-1 reads like a love letter to the early internet, when you searched for books and Beanie Babies. These days, companies reliant on Google Search $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.07% ) results aren’t exactly investor favs.

Inc calls the trend “Google Zero” — the looming future where websites depending on search traffic get buried beneath chatbot answers.

Either way, we can’t help but chuckle at the irony. Too many scalpers, not enough butts in seats.

— Brooks & Cas

The Fed cut rates for the first time in nine months, trimming 25 bps and hinting at two more cuts by year-end — even as inflation stays sticky. At first, markets simply shrugged, but then rallied into the weekend, with the Nasdaq leading the charge.

In need of a deeper dive? Click through to read the full Market Review.

It’s a data-heavy week ahead, with big implications for the next Fed decision. But Wall Street may be more fixated on Micron’s $MU ( ▼ 3.65% ) earnings. These days, nothing spooks the market more than a chipmaker who doesn’t post 400% earnings growth.

Want to know what all to watch? Click through to read the full Market Preview.

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But I know one thing. If you were on Crypto Twitter in 2021, it sure looks familiar.

The math is not mathing.

And on a mathematical note…

$400 in NYC gets you what exactly? A grocery run?

Data is for fiat apologists.

Finpubs covered the noise. We covered the moves that mattered.

This morning’s report broke down a commodity shock, a bold Nvidia investment, and a sector shake-up Wall Street is still digesting. But that’s just the start.

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The new iPhone $AAPL ( ▲ 3.2% ) looks like the old iPhone. And the old iPhone looked like the iPhone before that.

Remember when tech was fun? When it came in lime green and snapped in half if you sat on it?

The reference, for those of you who get a healthy amount of fresh air, is Roko’s basilisk, a decade-old thought experiment that asks, wouldn’t the hypothetical artificial superintelligence be able to identify and punish anyone who didn’t directly contribute to its creation or acceleration?

I guess, when Roko’s basilisk is literally written on your birth certificate, it’s not a chance worth taking.