Disney (DIS) paid $1B to let a startup fill its streaming service with AI-generated slop, then paid another $1.5B to build a metaverse inside a video game.

The ROI? Thousands of layoffs.

OpenAI just killed the Sora program at the center of the Disney Plus deal, and Epic Games is cutting staff as the grand "persistent universe" partnership produces... Star Wars mini-games?

New CEO Josh D'Amaro inherited both messes before he had time to learn where the good coffee was.

Turns out betting the future on two of the most overhyped technologies of the decade, at the same time, is harder than it looks on a slide deck.

— Brooks & Cas

Bank stocks have been underperforming all year, and it is not just macro jitters doing the damage.

Investors are scrutinizing how deeply the big lenders are tangled up in the private credit complex, where redemption surges and AI-exposed software loans have shaken confidence.

The KBW Nasdaq Bank Index is down around 6% year to date, worse than the S&P 500's roughly 4.5% decline. That gap has a name: nonbank exposure.

Bank lending to nonbank financial institutions has grown to about $1.9 trillion from roughly $1.1 trillion three years ago, according to Truist Securities analysts, and now represents about 14% of all bank loans per Federal Reserve data.

Among the big six, JPMorgan Chase (JPM) reported the largest overall nonbank loan book at nearly $240 billion in Q4. In the business-credit-intermediary subcategory, which captures loans to business development companies and private debt funds, Wells Fargo (WFC) led at $71 billion.

Wells Fargo, Bank of America (BAC), and JPMorgan each had over $90 billion combined in these two categories. All three have underperformed even the already-weak bank index this year.

The actual credit risk may be more insulated than headlines suggest. Banks typically lend against only a portion of collateral value, retain asset approval rights, and can force additional margin calls under stress. Analysts at Evercore ISI modeled a median peak-crisis loss scenario and projected a median annual EPS decline of just 2% for covered banks, which is manageable.

The thornier problem is fee revenue.

Private credit deal flow drives advisory income, and redemption pressure that forces funds to shrink or sell loans at distressed prices slows the whole pipeline, hitting banks in the income statement even if the balance sheet holds. Earnings season will bring fresh disclosures, but even those may not reassure investors who know how lucrative, and how interconnected, the whole arrangement is.

In other words? Damned if they lend, damned if they don't.

Big food is not a growth business right now.

Volume has dried up as consumers trade down to store brands or swap snacks for GLP-1 prescriptions, and legacy names like General Mills (GIS), Campbell's (CPB), and Kraft Heinz (KHC) are finding out the hard way that years of price hikes without product improvement have limits.

Executives are looking down a lackluster menu: cut prices and compress margins, slash costs and hollow out brands, or spend on marketing and test investor patience. That leaves M&A, which has its own terrible track record.

McCormick & Company (MKC) has spent years doing bolt-on deals the right way, building a portfolio that includes Frank's RedHot, French's mustard, and Cholula hot sauce. Now, it is reportedly in talks to combine with Unilever's (UL) food division, home to Hellmann's mayonnaise, Knorr bouillon, Marmite, and roughly $15 billion in annual sales.

McCormick shares have fallen 35% over the past year on margin worries, which frames both the pressure to act and the risk of acting badly. BNP Paribas analysts found that of 45 major consumer packaged goods deals since 2000, roughly half resulted in significant impairment losses, and the five largest all failed to deliver on their promises.

Unilever's food unit has long played second fiddle internally to personal care, and McCormick would gain global scale and retailer leverage. BNP Paribas analyst Max Gumport suggests that buying the food division at roughly 10x 2026 EBITDA, a discount to the roughly 13x multiple Unilever commands overall, could produce a meaningful earnings boost.

However, McCormick has never integrated a business anywhere near this size, complexity, or global footprint. Significant shareholder dilution and a heavier debt load would come with the territory.

The company that avoided Big Food's classic mistakes for years is now one bad price tag away from becoming the cautionary tale.

The S&P 500 Dividend Aristocrats (NOBL), companies that have raised their dividends for at least 25 straight years, are doing exactly what they are supposed to do in turbulent conditions.

Through March 31, the index ground out a 2.4% return in 2026, including dividends, while the S&P 500 fell 4.4%, weighed down by the Iran conflict, rising oil prices, and recession fears.

But the Aristocrats are not the only place to find this kind of durability.

Wolfe Research tracks roughly 70 companies it calls the emerging Dividend Aristocrats, stocks that have raised their dividends for at least 15 consecutive years.

The list includes Home Depot (HD), BlackRock (BLK), Lockheed Martin (LMT), United Parcel Service (UPS), Texas Instruments (TXN), and Microsoft (MSFT).

Wolfe Research chief investment strategist Chris Senyek notes the group captures broader sector representation than the traditional Aristocrats, particularly in technology, where many companies simply were not paying dividends 25 years ago. The emerging group also projects a median earnings growth rate of 8.6% over the next 12 months versus 7.5% for the traditional Aristocrats, per Wolfe Research.

KLA Corporation (KLAC), the chip equipment maker, has grown its quarterly dividend 80% since mid-2022, even if its current yield is just 0.6%. UPS yields 6.9% and has raised its quarterly payout for 16 straight years.

Morningstar Indexes strategist Dan Lefkovitz has noted these stocks are benefiting from what he calls the HALO trade, heavy assets, low obsolescence, the idea that physical-world businesses are less exposed to AI disruption. Home Depot remodeling a kitchen has not been automated yet.

For investors who want exposure to this cohort without stock-picking, the Vanguard Dividend Appreciation ETF (VIG) requires 10 consecutive years of dividend growth, and the ProShares S&P MidCap 400 Dividend Aristocrats ETF (REGL) holds stocks with at least 15.

The aristocracy has a waiting list, and right now it looks like a pretty good place to be.